And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
