she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
