I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We need a shit load of segways right now
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
