What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
