last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
