Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
