Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
40s are totally the cure
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
