you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
