You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
