He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
