They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You are a genius and a whore.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
