I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize