i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
