she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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