Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
