my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
