Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
