i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
