Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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