get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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