i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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