I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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