Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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