she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
