The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
