Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
