Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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