she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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