i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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