if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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