he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
