i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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