Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
