I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize