I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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