i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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