could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
