i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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