He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Im part way to drunk.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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