GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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