even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The uberlube is also flammable
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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