I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
