I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you would pick up someone in the library
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
