Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize