apparently the secret to your success is patron
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
