I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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