Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize