Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
