Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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