Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize