I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize