textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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