I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
