You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
he just fucked me for my cheese..
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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