things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
soo... how was my night?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
