Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
