you guys were way drunker than both of me
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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