**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
accomplished twins. life is a go
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
