I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
