Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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