The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
